Defending Motherhood: Morality, Responsibility, and Double Binds in Feeding Children

Abstract

The ideology of intensive mothering sets a high bar and is framed against the specter of the “bad” mother. Poor mothers and mothers of color are especially at risk of being labeled bad mothers. Drawing on 138 in‐depth interviews and ethnographic observations, this study analyzes the discursive and interpersonal strategies poor mothers use to make sense of and defend their feeding and children's body sizes. Food beliefs and practices reflect and reinforce social inequalities and thus represent an exemplary case in which to examine intensive mothering, its ties to growing inequality, and how individuals are called to account for it. Findings demonstrate intersecting inequalities, meanings, and contradictions in mothers' accounts of meeting intensive mothering expectations around feeding, health, and weight. In light of moral framings around feeding and weight, mothers' experiences of surveillance, and the double binds they encounter in feeding children, mothers practice what the authors term defensive mothering.

Parenthood and Well‐Being: A Decade in Review

“…Parents express desire to place their children in extracurricular activities to keep their children safe and busy, yet face financial constraints on having their children participate in quality programs (Elliott & Aseltine, ). Ominously, the notion of children's innocence evolved into the idea that the state—local child protective services—must intervene to punish “neglectful” parents to protect “innocent” children (Elliott & Bowen, ). The increasing surveillance by the state has made parents with lower economic resources, especially mothers who are on public assistance or formerly incarcerated, feel the need to guard themselves from the risk of being judged as neglectful parents, wherein they could receive a dire sanction of losing custody of the child (Desmond, ; Elliott & Bowen, ; Gurusami, ).…”

Neoliberal motherhood during the pandemic: Some reflections

“…Attachment parenting recommends a child‐centred approach that includes feeding the newborn whenever he or she wants to, carrying the baby and co‐sleeping (e.g., Spencer, 2019); hence, this intensive parenting practice can be very time‐consuming and work‐intensive for mothers (e.g., Faircloth, 2014; Green, 2015; Kilty & Dej, 2012). As Thornton (2011) notes about two popular parenting advice books by US‐based authors, ‘[e]ven though the authors adopt the gender‐neutral language of “parents” and “caretakers” both books slip into “mother” language, tend to use examples featuring mothers’ (p. 401; see also Elliott & Bowen, 2018).…”

Families Across the Income Spectrum: A Decade in Review

“…Its ideological spread into less‐advantaged families enacts a standard they struggle to fulfill, becoming another hidden injury of class (Sennett & Cobb, ). In interviews with low‐income, Black, single mothers, for example, Elliott, Powell, and Brenton (, p. 366) found they blamed themselves when they struggled to fulfill tenets of intensive motherhood—to put their children's needs first, protect and provide for their children, and instill in their children shared values of self‐reliance and responsibility—even when structural barriers meant they were fending off the dangers of poverty and racism rather than considering “music lessons or private tutoring” (Elliott & Bowen, ; Verduzco‐Baker, ).…”