We show that gravitational wave emission from neutron star binaries can be used to discover any generic long-ranged muonic force due to the large inevitable abundance of muons inside neutron stars. As a minimal consistent example, we focus on a gauged Uð1Þ L μ −L τ symmetry. In pulsar binaries, such Uð1Þ L μ −L τ vectors induce an anomalously fast decay of the orbital period through the emission of dipole radiation. We study a range of different pulsar binaries, finding the most powerful constraints for vector masses below Oð10 −18 eVÞ. For merging binaries, the presence of muons in neutron stars can result in dipole radiation as well as a modification of the chirp mass during the inspiral phase. We make projections for a prospective search using both the GW170817 and S190814bv events and find that current data can discover light vectors with masses below Oð10 −10 eVÞ. In both cases, the limits attainable with neutron stars reach gauge coupling g 0 ≲ 10 −20 , which are many orders of magnitude stronger than previous constraints. We also show projections for next generation experiments, such as Einstein Telescope and Cosmic Explorer.