Continuing social presence of the dead: exploring suicide bereavement through online memorialisation

Abstract

The last 10 years have seen a rise in Internet sites commemorating those lost to suicide. These sites describe the life of the deceased and the afterlife of relatives, parents, friends or siblings who have been termed the "forgotten bereaved". It is clear that such sites have implications for continuing bonds and for what many commentators refer to as the continuing social presence of the dead. This paper presents interim findings from ongoing research which focuses on two aspects of suicide memorial websites. First, we explore the extent to which such sites help us understand how the Internet is enabling new ways of grieving and is, in effect, making new cultural scripts. Second, although there is a large body of writing on the management of trauma there is little evidence-based research. The paper draws on face-to-face interviews with owners of suicide memorial sites (family members and friends) and explores how the establishment and maintenance of such a site is an important part of the therapeutic process and how, for grieving relatives, making or contributing to such sites provides ways of managing trauma in the aftermath of a death by suicide.

The Usage of Digital Resources by Swedish Suicide Bereaved in Their Grief Work: A Survey Study

“…Memorial websites may also be used in grief work; for communicating with other bereaved people online and sharing experiences (e.g., Roberts, 2004). But they also appear to be used for other reasons, for example, to memorialize, honor, and enhance the relationship with the deceased (Bailey et al, 2015). However, the present study indicates that this online activity does not seem to have any apparent positive outcomes regarding the bereaved person's satisfaction with their present psychosocial well-being.…”

“…Previous studies have also shown that participants in online support groups find it easier to discuss grief issues with their group than with family members or friends, as the group members show better understanding and are easier to reach for support and help (Feigelman et al, 2008;Oliveri, 2003;Pendry & Salvatore, 2015). Participation in different kinds of digital grief forums can bring bereaved people together in their grief work to form communities and also increase the possibility to maintain and enhance their relationships and bonds to the deceased (Bailey, Bell, & Kennedy, 2015;Moss, 2004;Roberts, 2004;Sofka, Cupit, & Gilbert, 2012), and a majority of the users seem to find the support groups beneficial and also show some improvement regarding well-being and depression (Kramer et al, 2015). However, these new patterns of mourning and memorizing have also raised concerns that different digital resources may increase and amplify negative ruminations and a reluctance to ''let go'' of the deceased (e.g., Stroebe, Van der Houven, & Schut, 2008).…”

Are youth suicide memorial sites on Facebook different from those for other sudden deaths?

“…Indeed, friends, who are habitually marginalized in traditional bereavement rituals, may find a voice in these spaces (Carroll & Landry, 2010;Doka 1989). The online community continue their bonds with the individual by authoring their ongoing biography and managing their digital lives (Bailey et al, 2015;Finlay & Krueger, 2011;Leonard & Toller, 2012). Although it is debated whether continued bonds support the bereaved in their adjustment (Klass, 2006;Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996), these commemorative rituals may make possible their gradual reintegration into everyday social activities (Refslund Christensen, & Gotved, 2015).…”

“…Although this surveillance can allow individuals to situate their own grief and authenticate such feelings of loss, it can highlight the lack of genuineness of many postings. Family members of the deceased person may observe extensive outpourings of emotions as being inauthentic (Bailey et al, 2015). Equally, interactive online memorials are often characterized by "contextual collapse", whereby contributors are required to conduct a social performance for a diverse audience and the vernacular or visual displays may not be deemed appropriate by all in the community (Marwick & Boyd, 2011;Marwick & Ellison, 2012).…”

“…Deaths by suicide add a further complex dynamic to the expression and experiences of bereavement online, as they often entail traumatic and disenfranchized grief (Doka, 1989;Jacobs & Prigerson, 2000). Although at a societal level discussions of death continue to be a taboo (Lenoard & Toller, 2012), suicide is often further silenced due to feelings of stigma, guilt, and anger (Bailey et al, 2015;Jordan, 2001;Leonard & Toller, 2012). Grief reactions following a suicide may fit four distinct categories: universal grief reactions of sadness and yearning; shock and unreality common after sudden and unexpected deaths; trauma reactions common after violent death; and suicidespecific reactions of anger at abandonment by the deceased person (Jordan & McIntosh, 2011).…”