Conceiving Judaism: The Challenges of Same-Sex Parenthood

Abstract

In Israel, personal status is regulated through religious law. This gives Orthodox rabbis the state-sanctioned power to define who is Jewish and to enable and recognize marriage. The impediments that religious law poses to same-sex couples and their children are serious: same-sex couples are excluded from marriage, and their children's religious status is at risk. In this article, I contrast these rabbinic exclusions with the ways that same-sex couples, both religious and non-religious, use Jewish traditions to establish social legitimacy and belonging for themselves and their children. Based on ethnographic findings, the article suggests that the Jewish ritual of circumcision for boys and childbirth celebrations for girls are moments in which relationships are reaffirmed. Even more so, the social networks displayed at these events and the participation of religious specialists (mohalim) performing the circumcision carry a clear message: these families are authentically a part of the Jewish-Israeli collective despite rabbinic opposition.

The Perception of Family in Israel and the United States

“…In both societies, the vast majority of respondents agreed that a heterosexual married couple with two children was a family—suggesting that, despite the wide range of accepted family types, this configuration is still the hegemonic model (Erera, 2002) to an almost overwhelming degree, and may serve as the benchmark when considering other types (Holtzman, 2008). In general, respondents in both samples viewed most arrangements involving children as families—possibly because the presence of children renders such arrangements closer to the traditional model—which suggests that when couples (of either sexual orientation) adopt traditional family codes and norms such as parenthood, they receive social legitimacy and are considered bona fide families (Lustenberger, 2013; Powell et al, 2010).…”

A Cultural Model of Parenthood as Engineering: How Caregiving Fathers Construct a Gender-Neutral View of the Parent Role

“…The experience of deliberation required in parenting is not necessarily more intense for gay men than it is for their straight counterparts. Arguably, with the gradual normalization of same-sex family arrangements gay and lesbian individuals of younger generations may face growing pronatalist pressures to have children (and for many, becoming a parent is a path for acceptance by their families; see Lustenberger, 2013). The point is, rather, that for Alon such deliberation and self-reflection on the part of the prospective parent becomes an ideal, a psychological (if not moral) requirement that should guide all parents, as he vividly sums up his argument:For their children’s sake as well as their own, I think [prospective] parents should stop and do some thinking about their fantasies regarding this thing called parenthood.…”

What We Know and What Remains to Be Explored about LGBTQ Parent Families in Israel: A Sociocultural Perspective

“…In view of this understanding, 65 qualitative in-depth interviews were conducted with self-identified LGB individuals in a stable relationship. All the couples, save for four, were parents [ 72 ]. The study drew on findings from extended ethnographic research conducted between 2010 and 2012 on the formation of same-sex parenthood in Jewish-Israeli society.…”