Compersion: An Alternative to Jealousy?

Abstract

Compersion is an important concept for non-monogamous people. Often described as jealousy's opposite, compersion labels positive feelings toward the intimacy of a beloved with other people. Since many people think jealousy is ordinary, intransigent, and even appropriate, compersion can seem psychologically and ethically dubious. I make the case for compersion, arguing it focuses on the flourishing of others and is thus not akin to pride, vicarious enjoyment, or masochistic pleasure. People cultivate compersion by softening their propensity to be jealous and by attending to the flourishing of others, which requires them to tackle entitlement and temper vulnerability. I argue that jealousy is not a valuable emotional disposition; its instrumental benefits are minor, unstable, and have to be traded against the harms of aggression. Arguments that conclude that jealousy is a virtue rest on contentious premises and overlook the practical question as to whether jealousy and compersion could be cultivated together.

Exploring Compersion: A Study on Polish Consensually Non-Monogamous Individuals and Adaptation of the COMPERSe Questionnaire

“…The authors propose three mechanisms by which people may feel compersion: an empathy-like mechanism, an emotion contagion, and a positive bene t for oneself. However, it is worth mentioning that the term itself can be de ned in various ways as different people put accent on its different aspects (e.g., Brunning, 2020;Flicker et al, 2014).…”

The Routledge Handbook of Philosophy of Sex and Sexuality

“…A full discussion of the non-identity problem is out of the scope of this paper though. vii For a comprehensive discussion of the purported reasonableness and value of jealousy in comparison to compersion (i.e., taking delight in one's partner's sexual pleasure had through sex with another person) see Brunning (2020).…”