Coming out: Impact on friendships between heterosexual men and gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men

Abstract

Friendships between heterosexual men and gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (gbMSM) appear to be less common than other friendship dyads. While some heterosexual men’s fear of being perceived as gay may act as a barrier in forming these friendships, research conducted within the past decade suggests that attitudes toward gbMSM are improving in Western cultures. Little is known regarding how heterosexual men react to their peers who are gbMSM after disclosing their sexual orientations to them during this cultural shift in North America. Using inclusive masculinity theory as a framework, the purpose was to examine how friendships between heterosexual men and gbMSM are impacted following their coming out experiences. Data were collected from heterosexual men and gbMSM aged 18–36 ( M = 28.52) residing in the United States and Canada ( N = 443) through Amazon Mechanical Turk. Heterosexual and gbMSM were asked to answer open-ended questions regarding the gbMSM’s coming out experiences and describe changes in their friendships afterward. Thematic analysis guidelines were followed to analyze the responses. Results indicated three pathways for friendships: a positive coming-out experience with an improved friendship, a neutral coming-out experience with no change in the friendship, and a negative experience followed by a damaged or terminated friendship. Findings suggest that positive attitudes toward cross-orientation friendships may be more prevalent and accepted at present than historically. These findings start an important dialogue with the potential implication of further normalizing positive friendships between heterosexual men and gbMSM.