Coming Out and Outcomes: Negotiating Lesbian and Gay Identities With, and in, the Family

Abstract

In late modernity there has been a shift in the ways that individuals relate to society, in which traditional ideas, expectations, and hierarchies are being reworked. Released from the constraints and social norms of tradition, individuals, it is argued, are now freer to choose between a range of options in the pursuit of their own happiness. Notably, these social changes have been understood to provide more opportunities for lesbians and gay men to ‘come out’—disclose their sexuality and live the lifestyle of their choice. Coming out is often implicitly discussed in academic literatures as an individual decision, and the consequences of coming out are also usually explored in relation to the personal narratives of the individual who has disclosed a lesbian and gay sexuality. To date, little attention has been paid to the actual processes through which sexual dissidents negotiate their identities with others, and to the consequences of such disclosures for those who are close to them or share their lives in various ways. In this paper we address this omission by focusing on young people's experiences of coming out with, and in, families of origin. We begin by examining what is at stake in the decision whether to come out or not by examining the role that families of origin play in young people's lives. We then explore how the process of coming out is actually negotiated within different families. Finally, we consider the ‘outcomes’ of these choices. In doing so we contribute to research on geographies of sexualities, geographies of the ‘family’, youth transitions, and the emerging field of social studies of emotions.

Understanding and Responding to Homophobia and Bullying: Contrasting Staff and Young People’s Views within Community Settings in England

“…This dominant position therefore needs to be examined and addressed, as much as, if not more than, its individual guardians (defined as bullies). Bullying discourses also fundamentally neglect or divert attention away from the home environment, which this and other research suggests can be problematic (Monk, 2011;Valentine, Skelton and Butler, 2003). Schools and youth services focussing on homophobia and transphobia, rather than bullying, would enable broader discussions and challenges to young people's (and staff members') understandings and practices.…”

Queer Geography

“…How, for example, do the experiences of lesbian or gay family members living with heterosexual parents complicate both the notion of home as a place for heterosexual families and/or as a place of safe gay or lesbian identity performance? (Valentine et al, 2003). For queer teenagers or young adults, the home may in fact be a form of closet, in which they must hide or mask their sexual identities for fear of negative repercussions from heterosexual family.…”

Single People's Geographies of Home: Intimacy and Friendship beyond ‘the Family’

“…alienation, intimacy and violence, desire and fear". In this vein, previous geographical work on sexuality has examined how the family home can be a space of exclusion for the queer child (Johnston and Valentine, 1995;Valentine et al, 2003). However, the nuclear family home is not just a space in which heterosexuality is naturalized, but it is also where coupledom and long-term romantic attachments are normalized.…”