We provide a perspective on the ubiquity of PFAS (a suite of unique per‐ and polyfluoroalkyl substances, or ‘forever chemicals’) as toxic, pervasive and environmentally persistent more‐than‐human agents. We situate our discussion of these more‐than‐human contaminants in our location of Aotearoa New Zealand (NZ), a post‐production, post‐consumption contaminated site. We therefore make an Antipodean contribution to PFAS research—a predominantly North American/European body of work—providing an account of the specific landmasses, cultural contexts and regulation here, while also noting simultaneous entanglements with the global environment. In dealing with this group of contaminants, we identify opportunities for Aotearoa NZ's regulatory and management processes to consider the more‐than‐human theorising of aspects of ‘the natural world’, not for their utility but for the intrinsic value of more‐than‐human lives, and in order to do regulation, policy and practice differently.