Can We Talk? What We Have Learned About How to Have Productive Conflicts About Family Policy and Family Law

Abstract

How we handle professional conflicts affects our capacity to help others in conflict. Two AFCC dialogues, one about domestic violence, the other about shared parenting, illustrate the challenges of taking on professional differences. The former resulted in considerable consensus. The latter involved a frank exchange of differences but little overall consensus. It was, however, an important beginning of a critical conversation. Other issues calling out for constructive conflict engagement, include the crisis in providing access to justice for family litigants who cannot afford legal representation. Professional groups must move beyond defending their own self interests to addressing this crisis.

AFCC Think Tanks: Promoting Dialogue on Difficult Issues in Family Law*

“…There was activity on the fringes at all think tanks, as noted by Mayer (2018). Surprisingly, at FLER, a fundamental disagreement surfaced between two members of the steering committee, necessitating ad hoc shuttle diplomacy.…”

“…These seemingly modest goals may have been a reflection of the challenges we anticipated. Indeed, Professor Bernie Mayer (co‐facilitator for Wingspread and facilitator for Closing the Gap) and Professors Kelly Browe Olson and Nancy Ver Steegh (co‐editors of the FCR Wingspread special issue) believe that the real challenge is getting people with profoundly divergent views together at all (Mayer ; Olson & Ver Steegh, ). Professor Dalton, notes:

In this charged atmosphere, it is easy for the different constituencies to take sides, for each side to accuse the other of bad faith, and for neither side to listen with an open mind to what the other has to say.

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“…The idea is not unlike St. George's House consultations in Windsor. The meals were communal, and there were numerous opportunities for participants to develop relationships and exchange ideas on the fringes of formal convenings, an important feature of such meetings (Mayer, ). Unfortunately, when Closing the Gap took place, Wingspread was no longer sponsoring meetings on family issues and the venue was a Chicago hotel.…”

“…Wingspread, as Professor Mayer noted, seized the moment and built on less successful efforts dating back 20 years. “The way forward was there, but we had to find a way to take it” (Mayer, , p. 60). By the time we reached Wingspread, domestic violence advocacy was a powerful sociopolitical movement, having spurred the passage of more than 4,700 statutes protecting domestic violence victims and children (Salem & Dunford‐Jackson, ).…”