Breaking Up (With a Friend) Is Hard to Do: An Examination of Friendship Dissolution Among Early Adolescents

Abstract

The current study examined the experience of friendship dissolution among early adolescents, including the number of friendship dissolutions, the reasons for the dissolution, and the ways in which friendships ended. Participants were 354 middle school students ([Formula: see text] = 11.89 years, SD = .86). Results indicate that dissolutions are quite common, reported by 86% of the sample. Conflict/betrayal was the most common reason for friendship dissolution, and avoidance was the most common method used to end a friendship. The current study also investigated associations between dissolution experiences and emotional reactions following the dissolution and current depressive symptoms. Adolescents felt a nuanced mix of emotions including both sadness and happiness/relief following dissolution experiences. Emotional reactions differed based on why the friendship ended, how it ended, and who did the “breaking up.” The current findings provide a critical first step in understanding the experience of friendship dissolution and its implications for adolescents’ emotional well-being.

The role of school friendship stability, instability, and network size in early adolescents’ social adjustment.

“…In this study, friendship dissolution was not associated with early adolescents' perceived social adjustment: having lost school friendships was not associated with early adolescents' sense of satisfaction with their school friendships, their confidence in their ability to make new and close friendships, nor their sense of belonging at their school. This finding is not altogether uncommon, as other studies find friendship dissolution predicts both positive and negative emotions during early adolescence and thus is SCHOOL FRIENDSHIP STABILITY AND SOCIAL ADJUSTMENT 9 not always indicative of maladjustment (Bowker, 2011;Flannery & Smith, 2021). As with new friendships, this may be due to the circumstance which surround such losses.…”

“…A recent meta-analysis of longitudinal studies found just under half of the early adolescent friendships observed across studies were stable (Meter & Card, 2016). Two other recent studies observed 86% and 75% of early adolescents report at least one of their friendships had dissolved within the past year (Flannery & Smith, 2021;Lessard & Juvonen, 2018;respectively). There is also evidence that making new friendships and losing others (friendship instability) can be a welcome occurrence in youth's social lives at school (Bowker, 2011;Flannery & Smith, 2021), opening the door to new social experiences and relationships that are better suited to adolescents' changing needs (Hartl et al, 2015;Traylor et al, 2016).…”

Associations between interpersonal behavior and friendship quality in childhood and adolescence: A meta‐analysis

“…Previous research shows that youth who behave aggressively have less stable friendships (Poulin & Chan, 2010). Our findings suggest that one reason for this instability may be that aggression is associated with more fighting, which in turn might provoke friendship dissolution (Flannery & Smith, in press).…”

Through thick and thin?: Young adults’ implicit beliefs about friendship and their reported use of dissolution and maintenance strategies with same‐gender friends

“…It is normative for friendships to form and break. Most adolescents report that they have ended a friendship (Flannery & Smith, 2021), and there is evidence that up to half of the close friendships of children and adolescents end within a year (Bowker, 2011; Chan & Poulin, 2007). Even more common than the complete termination of a friendship are downgrade dissolutions, in which the two people remain friends but are less close (Bowker, 2011).…”

“…However, work with children and adolescents indicates that dissolution also can occur in response to specific challenges in the friendship. For example, when asked why a friendship ended, adolescents most commonly cited a fight with or a betrayal by the friend (Flannery & Smith, 2021). Similarly, when asked how they would respond to provocation by a friend, some adolescents endorse ending the relationship (Dirks et al., 2011; MacEvoy & Asher, 2012).…”