Between desire and rape – narratives about being intimate partners and becoming pregnant in a violent relationship

Abstract

BackgroundWomen subjected to intimate partner violence (IPV) experience different forms of abuse. Sexual violence is often under-reported because physically abused women, in particular, might see forced sex as an obligatory part of the sexual interplay. Accordingly, abused women have less sexual autonomy and experience unplanned pregnancies more often than other women.ObjectiveTo describe and analyse nine Swedish women's retrospective stories about IPV with a focus on power and coping strategies as intimate partners, particularly regarding experiences of sex, contraception, and becoming pregnant.DesignNine qualitative interviews were carried out with women who had been subjected to very severe violence in their intimate relationships and during at least one pregnancy. The stories were analysed using ‘Narrative method’ with the emphasis on the women's lived experiences.ResultsDespite the violence and many contradictory and ambivalent feelings, two of the women described having sex as desirable, reciprocal and as a respite from the rest of the relationship. The other seven women gave a negative and totally different picture, and they viewed sex either as obligatory or as a necessity to prevent or soothe aggression or referred to it as rape and as something that was physically forced upon them. The women's descriptions of their pregnancies ranged from being carefully planned and mostly wanted to completely unwelcome and including flawed contraceptive efforts with subsequent abortions.ConclusionsWomen subjected to IPV have diverse and complex experiences that have effects on all parts of the relationship. Intimacy might for some turn into force and rape, but for others sex does not necessarily exclude pleasure and desire and can be a haven of rest from an otherwise violent relationship. Accordingly, women may tell stories that differ from the ones expected as ‘the typical abuse story’, and this complexity needs to be recognized and dealt with when women seek healthcare, especially concerning contraceptives, abortions, and pregnancies.

Towards understanding the Nordic paradox: A review of qualitative interview studies on intimate partner violence against women (IPVAW) in Sweden

“…Qualitative interview studies on IPVAW in Nordic countries have explored a range of issues. These include women's experiences of violence (Almqvist & Broberg, ; Bergman, ; Bruno, ; Enander, , , , ; Eriksson & Ulmestig, ; Flinck, Paavilainen, & Astedt‐Kurki, ; Häggblom & Möller, ; Hydén, , , ; Jarnkvist & Brännström, ; Römpötti, ; Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, ), of violence during pregnancy (Edin, Dahlgren, Lalos, & Högberg, ; Edin & Högberg, ; Edin & Nilsson, ; Engnes & Lundgren, ; Finnbogadóttir, Dykes, & Wann‐Hansson, ) and motherhood (Almqvist & Broberg, ; Georgsson et al, ), and of leaving violent relationships (Enander, ; Enander & Holmberg, ; Häggblom & Möller, ; Holmberg & Enander, ; Hydén, , ; Hydén, ; Jarnkvist, ; Münger, ; Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, ). Studies have investigated women's experiences with the judicial (Agevall, ; BRÅ, ; Brännvall, ; Bruno, ; Ekström, ; Green, ; Jarnkvist, ; Jarnkvist & Brännström, ), social service (Eriksson & Ulmestig, ; Jarnkvist & Brännström, ; Nikupeteri, ; Ulmestig & Panican, ) and health care systems (Garnweidner‐Holme, Lukasse, Solheim, & Henriksen, ; Gillå et al, ; Häggblom & Möller, ; Leppakoski, Paavilainen, & Astedt‐Kurki, ; Mørk, Andersen, & Taket, ; Örmon & Hörberg, ; Örmon, Torstensson Levander, Sunnqvist, & Bahtsevani, ; Pratt‐Eriksson, Bergbom, & Lyckhage, ).…”

“…Meanwhile, a woman stated that for a long time, she “had no words for the abuse” (Flinck et al, , p. 388). Other survivors (Edin & Nilsson, ; Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, ) and perpetrators (Agevall, ; Hydén, ) describe violence disappearing through coping mechanisms of forgetting or repressing memories.…”

“…Qualitative interview studies on IPVAW in Nordic countries have explored a range of issues. These include women's experiences of violence (Almqvist & Broberg, 2004;Bergman, 1989;Bruno, 2018;Enander, 2010aEnander, , 2010bEnander, , 2011aEnander, , 2011bFlinck, Paavilainen, & Astedt-Kurki, 2005;Häggblom & Möller, 2007;Hydén, 1992Hydén, , 1995aHydén, , 1995bJarnkvist & Brännström, 2016a;Römpötti, 2009;Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, 2008b), of violence during pregnancy (Edin, Dahlgren, Lalos, & Högberg, 2010;Edin & Högberg, 2002;Edin & Nilsson, 2013;Engnes & Lundgren, 2013;Finnbogadóttir, Dykes, & Wann-Hansson, 2014) and motherhood (Almqvist & Broberg, 2004;Georgsson et al, 2007), and of leaving violent relationships (Enander, 2011a;Enander & Holmberg, 2008;Häggblom & Möller, 2007;Holmberg & Enander, 2005;Hydén, 2000Hydén, , 2005Hydén, 2001;Jarnkvist, 2015;Münger, 2009;Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, 2008a). Studies have investigated women's experiences with the judicial (Agevall, 2012;BRÅ, 2010;Brännvall, 2016;Bruno, 2018;Ekström, 2015;Green, 2002;Jarnkvist, 2015;…”

“…Meanwhile, a woman stated that for a long time, she "had no words for the abuse" (Flinck et al, 2005, p. 388). Other survivors (Edin & Nilsson, 2013;Scheffer Lindgren & Renck, 2008b) and perpetrators (Agevall, 2012;Hydén, 1992) describe violence disappearing through coping mechanisms of forgetting or repressing memories. Accordingly, breaking free from IPVAW is related to remembering and reminiscing (Flinck et al, 2005); to recognizing the violence (Enander & Holmberg, 2008), telling one's story (Hydén, Gadd, & Wade, 2016), and being acknowledged (Örmon et al, 2014a;Örmon & Hörberg, 2016).…”

Gender and health – aspects of importance for understanding health and illness in the world

“…Edin and Nilsson highlight the specific circumstances of living in violent relations and becoming pregnant. The study is based in Sweden and they conclude that Swedish health care institutions and maternal care need to become more aware of the way pregnant women exposed to IPV express their situation, which often is indirect and difficult to understand ( 16 ). In a cross-sectional survey, Burgos-Soto et al investigated lifetime prevalence of physical and sexual violence among HIV-infected women in Togo compared to non-infected women.…”