I believe the universal aspects of Doi's concept of amae have a dual origin in the biologically based motives of infancy and in the expectable adpative experiences of the caregiving relationship. Our theory, arising from recent research, is that the necessary intimacy of this relationship and the exercise of these motives leads to early relationship motives and early moral motives. These in turn find representational coherence in the 3‐year‐old's narrative self that contains a continual internal dialogue with one or more significant others who are comforting, encouraging, watchful, and critical. The narrative self may also contain an “executive sense of we,” giving the child more of a sense of obligation and power. Many emotionally engaging experiences in infancy are stored as procedural knowledge and are influential later as an “affective core of self” without being accessible to consciousness. Amae also seems based on procedural knowledge. Future research in Japan and the United States will benefit from operationalizing concepts related to amae and to emotional availability. Effects of gender, temperament, and conflicts within and across generations can then be examined.