Are They Really Mama’s Boys/Daddy’s Girls? The Negotiation of Adulthood upon Returning to the Parental Home

Abstract

This article explores how living with parents affects the ways emerging adults construct their self-identity. Data are from in-depth interviews with 30 young adults who returned to live with their origin family after a period of residential autonomy. Respondents perceive adulthood as a psychological state, attained through a process of assuming responsibility for one's actions and learning how to interact with other adults (particularly parents) from a position of equality. Nonetheless, an economic component remains important, mentioned by respondents who contributed to the family economy and those who sought to avoid doing so. Successfully viewing oneself as an adult is gendered, with daughters less likely to perceive themselves as equals in interactions with parents.

The experience of co-residence: young adults returning to the parental home after graduation in England

“…Mitchell 1998)). While Sassler et al (2008) reported conflict between parents and children over the standards to which tasks had to be performed, which was also identified by the mother highlighted for group (ii). Several parents in group (iiia) expressed their negative feelings in developmental terms, referring to the behaviour of their offspring as 'immature'.…”

“…More recently, the Pew Research Centre's telephone survey of a nationally representative US sample of 1625 adults aged 18-34, found that the 18-24 year olds were more positive than older co-resident children about the effects of co-residence on their relationship with parents (Parker 2012). Using qualitative data, Sassler et al (2008) found that almost three-quarters of their sample of 30 young adult 'returners' in Southern New England were positive about their experiences.…”

“…These structural problems are likely to constrain the agency of young adults and bear upon their capacity for achieving adult independence. Arnett (2001), a psychologist, has stressed the importance of individualistic criteria for achieving adulthood: financial independence, taking responsibility for self, and establishing a relationship with parents as an equal adult (shown also to be important for Sassler et al's (2008) sample). All these issues are likely to have significance for our sample of young adult returners.…”

“…Resentment was more apparent when the returner was female (cf. Sassler et al 2008). Uncertainty about the future further exacerbated conflicts over domestic responsibilities.…”

Young Adult Graduates Living in the Parental Home: Expectations, Negotiations, and Parental Financial Support

“…Sassler et al (2008) found that less than a third of their sample of 30 young adults in Southern New England living in the parental home, made financial contributions to the household, whether by paying rent or sharing in household expenditures; respondents often reported that parents did not ask them to contribute and some resisted making contributions. Survey data have revealed that nearly half of young American adults (aged 25 to 34 years) who were living with their parents, or had moved back in temporarily in recent years, paid rent (Parker, 2012).…”