Ambivalence Toward Adult Children: Differences Between Mothers and Fathers

Abstract

The authors examined how ambivalence toward adult children within the same family differs between mothers and fathers and whether patterns of maternal and paternal ambivalence can be explained by the same set of predictors. Using data collected in the Within-Family Differences Study, they compared older married mothers’ and fathers’ (N = 129) assessments of ambivalence toward each of their adult children (N = 444). Fathers reported higher levels of ambivalence overall. Both mothers and fathers reported lower ambivalence toward children who were married, better educated, and who they perceived to hold similar values; however, the effects of marital status and education were more pronounced for fathers, whereas the effect of children’s value congruence was more pronounced for mothers. Fathers reported lower ambivalence toward daughters than sons, whereas mothers reported less ambivalence toward sons than daughters.

Exploring Ambivalence in Family Ties: Progress and Prospects

“…Quantitative studies that assess the presence—and, sometimes, the correlates and impact—of psychological ambivalence use either direct or indirect measures (Lendon, Silverstein, & Giarrusso, ; Lettke & Klein, ; Lüscher, ; Silverstein & Giarrusso, ; Suitor, Gilligan, & Pillemer, ). Direct measures ask subjects whether they experience ambivalence in particular relationships by using terms like mixed feelings or feeling torn and are notable in the work of Pillemer, Suitor, and their colleagues (see, e.g., Pillemer et al, ; Pillemer, Munsch, Fuller‐Rowell, Riffin, & Suitor, ; for a discussion, Silverstein & Giarrusso, ). Direct measures assume that people are aware of ambivalence and that simultaneous positive and negative feelings or behaviors are experienced as mixed feelings or feeling torn.…”

Continuity and Change in Mothers' Favoritism Toward Offspring in Adulthood

“…Perceptions of similarity have been recognized as highly salient to parent–adult child relations since its designation as one of the core components of Bengtson and colleagues' model of intergenerational solidarity (Bengtson, ; Silverstein & Bengtson, ). Cross‐sectional studies have found perceived similarity to be one of the best predictors of the quality of parent–adult child relations using both between‐ and within‐family designs (Pillemer, Munsch, Fuller‐Rowell, Riffin, & Suitor, ; Rossi & Rossi, ; Suitor & Pillemer, ).…”

Do Positive Feelings Hurt? Disaggregating Positive and Negative Components of Intergenerational Ambivalence

“…The theory proposes that family relationships are characterized by such simultaneous positive and negative feelings in part because of structural contradictions inherent in family roles (Connidis & McMullin, ; Pillemer & Suitor, ). In research conducted over the past decade, studies have confirmed that ambivalence (measured in a variety of ways) is indeed a common characteristic of parent–child relations in later life (Fingerman, Pitzer, Lefkowitz, Birditt, & Mroczek, ; Kiecolt, Blieszner, & Salva, ; Lowenstein, ; Pillemer et al, ; Pillemer, Munsch, Fuller‐Rowell, Riffin, & Suitor, ; Suitor, Gilligan, & Pillemer, ; Wilson, Shuey, Elder, & Wickrama, ).…”