Am “I” more important than “we”? Couples’ word use in instant messages

Abstract

Recent studies have identified robust associations between the types of words that people use and their psychological health. This study investigated whether couples’ word use in their daily instant messages (IMs) is linked to the quality and stability of their relationships. Sixty‐eight dating couples in the United States submitted 10 days of IM conversations with each other, which were analyzed with a linguistic word count program. Six months later, couples indicated whether they were still dating. Pronoun use and emotion word use both were associated with relationship satisfaction and stability. These findings extend previous research showing that the frequencies of certain words that people use are associated with the quality of their social relationships.

“We” Overeat, But “I” Can Stay Thin: Pronoun Use and Body Weight in Couples Who Eat to Regulate Emotion

“…No studies we are aware of directly address the connection between I-talk and eating. However, previous literature on the potential benefits of I-talk suggests that higher I-talk is associated with marital satisfaction and relationship stability (Simmons et al, 2005;Slatcher et al, 2008). Combined with findings suggesting that women tend to maintain a healthier diet than men do (Beardsworth et al, 2002;Morse & Driskell, 2009), I-talk may be linked to these women's adherence to a diet that naturally appeals to them more, as opposed to sharing less healthy habits with their male partners.…”

“…However, Simmons et al (2005) found that spouses who used higher proportions of I-talk during a marital interaction task also tended to report greater marital satisfaction. Similarly, women's use of Italk in instant messages was positively related to their own satisfaction, their partners' satisfaction, and relationship stability (Slatcher, Vazire, & Pennebaker, 2008). Finally, I-talk by patients in couples coping with health problems was associated with the withdraw role-or a push for autonomy-in demand-withdraw interactions (Rentscher, Rohrbaugh, Shoham, & Mehl, 2013).…”

Brief Report: Making Experience Personal: Internal States Language in the Memory Narratives of Children with and Without Asperger’s Disorder

“…Social terms, however, are not a part of internal state language (Stone and Pennebaker 2002) and thus do not reflect interpretation of events. Instead, the high levels of social terms included in these narratives may reflect the extent to which the events that comprise children's lives are experienced in conjunction with other people, including family members and classmates.…”

Underlying Cognitive Mechanisms Associated With the Emotional Work: Analysis of Depressive Patients’ Verbal Expressions

“…This approach has not only made it possible to establish differences between a series of medical and psychiatric diagnoses (Bucci, 1997;Mergenthaler, 1996;Stein, Folkman, Trabasso, & Richards, 1997), but has also helped to characterize certain cognitive processes (Lee, Park, & Seo, 2006), emotional processes (Kahn, Tobin, Massey, & Anderson, 2007), and personality traits (Mehl, Gosling, & Pennebaker, 2006). It has also contributed to demonstrate that people can improve their psychological wellbeing after writing about traumatic experiences (Chung & Pennebaker, 2007;Graybeal, Sexton, & Pennebaker, 2002;Slatcher, Vazire, & Pennebaker, 2008;Stirman & Pennebaker, 2001). …”