African-American Lesbian Identity Management and Identity Development in the Context of Family and Community

Abstract

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is gaining attention in family studies literature as a cultural specific context to understand lesbian, gay, and bisexual visibility in African-American families and communities. This policy suggests that sexual minorities are accepted within African-American families and communities as long as they do not label themselves or acknowledge publicly that they engage in same-sex relationships. The narratives of two African-American lesbians (aged 26 and 27 years) are chronicled in the present study to reveal their lesbian identity development, lesbian identity management, and how they defined and navigated Don't Ask, Don't Tell. They encountered challenges and successes in a quest to find communities that would embrace and affirm their multiple marginalized identities. Their stories are offered as a point of entry to further inquiry concerning African-American lesbian visibility and identity proclamation within African-American families and communities.

The Palgrave Handbook of the Psychology of Sexuality and Gender

“…For example, United States-based research with Black and Latina lesbians (e.g. see Espín, 2012;Miller, 2011;Reed & Valenti, 2012) suggests that for these groups there is a fine line between being out and maintaining relationships with family and cultural communities. For this reason, ME lesbians developed strategies which enabled them to sustain links with their families and communities -for example, avoiding disclosure in family contexts (e.g.…”

“…For this reason, ME lesbians developed strategies which enabled them to sustain links with their families and communities -for example, avoiding disclosure in family contexts (e.g. see Espin, 2012;Miller, 2011) and/or sometimes sleeping with men (e.g. see Reed & Valenti, 2012) while building lesbian/gay support networks outside those contexts.…”

Heterosexual Parents of Gay and Lesbian Individuals: Social Interaction Issues

“…Privacy values may be very strong in a given culture (Petronio, 2002) or important to members who want to preserve cultural ties. A lesbian's African American mother thought it foolish to publicize concealable sexual‐minority status on top of racial‐minority status (LaSala, 2010), apparently because she felt that disclosure was an unnecessary added obstacle in life (for discussions of restricted verbalizations about same‐gender sexual orientation of members in African American families, see Miller, 2011; Smith, 1997). …”

“…Potential risks include distressing or harming the relationship with the child, and potential benefits include gaining knowledge (see Rafkin, 2001) or a closer relationship. Those PGLs who do not express concerns (e.g., about stigma) may miss the chance to learn from their more seasoned children's insights, for instance about stigma management (see LaSala, 2010; Miller, 2011). …”

Straight Gods, White Devils: Exploring Paths to Non-Religion in the Lives of Black LGBTQ People

“…When my participants were not ' cured' of their LGBTQ identity through such means and got engaged or married to partners that society would deem 'same-sex', it was seen as further proof of their sin. In her study of black lesbian women, Miller (2011) links such invalidation of one's family to the fact that having a family makes it difficult to hide one's homosexuality, even though hiding is encouraged by family members who say they would feel embarrassed if other people found out. I should also note that most of the conversations in the lives of my participants, reflecting a similar tendency in the scholarship reviewed, are about homosexuality and not any other sexuality or gender non-conformity.…”