Laser writing of materials is normally performed by the sequential scanning of a single focused beam across a sample. This process is time‐consuming and it can severely limit the throughput of laser systems in key applications such as surgery, microelectronics, or manufacturing. A parallelization strategy based on ultrasound waves in a liquid to diffract light into multiple beamlets is reported. Adjusting amplitude, frequency, or phase of ultrasound allows tunable multifocus distributions with sub‐microsecond control. When combined with sample translation, the dynamic splitting of light leads to high‐throughput laser processing, as demonstrated by locally modifying the morphological and wettability properties of metals, polymers, and ceramics. The results illustrate how acousto‐optofluidic systems are universal tools for fast multifocus generation, with potential impact in fields such as imaging or optical trapping.