To date, there is little research on personal crisis experiences of mental health professionals. The aim of this study was to explore some of the reasons for why self-disclosure is so difficult and how these difficulties may prevent productive forms of coproduction. These questions are addressed both from a psychiatrist's autoethnographic account and from the perspective of a peer worker who works in various coproductive relationships. It is shown that mental health professionals often revert to an "I-as-we", speaking of themselves as a collective and thereby reifying the boundaries between 'vulnerable users' and 'invulnerable professionals'. Ethnographic examples are given, of how these boundaries are produced by a continuous, often invisible, and powerful category work. It is discussed how the dichotomous logic of these boundaries can cause people on both sides to feel reduced to a representation of a certain species, which can take on an existential dimension. Ways out are identified for mental health professionals to self-reflexively engage with their own crisis experience in coproductive and other relationships.

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Abstract. Estuaries are nutrient filters and change riverine nutrient loads before they reach coastal oceans. They have been extensively changed by anthropogenic activities like draining, deepening, and dredging to meet economic and social demand, causing significant regime changes like tidal amplifications and in some cases to hyper-turbid conditions. Furthermore, increased nutrient loads, especially nitrogen, mainly by agriculture cause coastal eutrophication. Estuaries can either act as a sink or as a source of nitrate, depending on environmental and geomorphological conditions. These factors vary along an estuary, and change nitrogen turnover in the system. Here, we investigate the factors controlling nitrogen turnover in the hyper-turbid Ems estuary (Northern Germany) that has been strongly impacted by human activities. During two research cruises in August 2014 and June 2020, we measured water column properties, dissolved inorganic nitrogen, dual stable isotopes of nitrate and dissolved nitrous oxide concentration along the estuary. Overall, the Ems estuary acts as a nitrate sink in both years. However, three distinct biogeochemical zones exist along the estuary. A strong fractionation (~ 26 ‰) of nitrate stable isotopes points towards nitrate removal via water column denitrification in the hyper-turbid Tidal River, driven by anoxic conditions in deeper water layers. In the Middle Reaches of the estuary nitrification gains in importance turning this section into a net nitrate source. The Outer Reaches are dominated by mixing with nitrate uptake in 2020. We find that the overarching control on biogeochemical nitrogen cycling, zonation and nitrous oxide production in the Ems estuary is exerted by suspended particulate matter concentrations and the linked oxygen deficits.

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