Withdrawal, attachment security, and recovery from conflict in couple relationships

Abstract

This study used 115 cohabiting couple partners' 21-day diaries, with which they reported each evening on their moods and their relationships, to test hypotheses about connections between withdrawal following conflict, attachment insecurity, and affective recovery from conflict (i.e., post-conflict relationship satisfaction, positive and negative mood, and intimacy). Individuals reported on their own and their partners' post-conflict withdrawals. Results indicated that individuals who withdrew following conflicts, or whose partners withdrew, experienced worse post-conflict affective recoveries, particularly if they intended to punish their partners by withdrawing. Conversely, withdrawing from a punitive partner buffered the individual from some aftereffects of conflict. Support for our hypothesis that anxious attachment would exacerbate effects of withdrawing on recovery was unexpectedly weak. Conclusions address the negative and punishing impact of post-conflict withdrawing on couple partners' affective recoveries and associations between anxious attachment and post-conflict recovery.

Buffering and spillover of adult attachment insecurity in couple and family relationships

“…However, the destructive responses and poor interaction outcomes associated with attachment insecurity are likely to carry forward to impact subsequent nonconflictual interactions and thus interfere with couples' ability to share positive experiences (Table 3). This type of conflict spillover is typically examined by assessing how the experiences and responses within couples' conflict interactions transfer to responses within subsequent non-conflict interactions 74,[76][77][78][79] .…”

“…Thus, rather than displaying hostility, avoidant individuals are less likely to engage in repair efforts or be responsive to their partner's repair efforts following conflict 79 . Disengagement and lack of effort to maintain relationships frequently trigger adverse reactions from partners, as evidenced by partners of individuals high in avoidance exhibiting greater negativity and perseveration on conflict in subsequent couple interactions than partners of individuals low in avoidance 76,78,79 .…”

“…Hostility and perseveration of conflict 16,76,80 Partners' negative mood and dissatisfaction 16,77 Low relationship repair attempts 79 Low responsiveness to partners and partners' repair attempts 79,80 Partners' hostility and dissatisfaction 76,78,79 Family spillover Parent-child interactions Parenting stress 54,[86][87][88][89] Destructive behaviour during conflict [92][93][94][95] Difficulty understanding children and negative coping appraisals [96][97][98] Unresponsive caregiving [89][90][91]98 Low felt positivity, meaning and satisfaction as a parent 85,101,[103][104][105] Low empathy, understanding and affection towards child 95,107,109 Low responsiveness and support 94,95,106,108,[110][111][112] Couple-family spillover…”

How to kiss and make-up (or not!): Postconflict behavior and affective recovery from conflict.

“…We crafted a checklist that (a) allows couple partners themselves to identify what they do to reconcile day-to-day and (b) identifies dimensions of postconflict reconciliation strategies that can be used to determine which strategies are most closely associated with recoveries after conflict. Prager et al (2015Prager et al ( , 2019 defined affective recovery from conflict as a two-step process: (a) the individual partners return to a neutral or positive emotional state; angry or frustrated arousal subsides; and (b) the couple reestablishes their bond via intimate relating (either verbally or through other intimacy-promoting behavior). We identified residual, negative changes in affect, intimacy, and satisfaction following conflict as inverse indicators of postconflict recovery.…”

Disclosing Romantic Relationship Conflicts with a Third Party: A Test of the Disclosure Decision-Making Model

“…Totenhagen, Randall, and Lloyd (2018) found that the more severe a conflict was within a romantic relationship, the lower the overall perceived relationship quality was between the individuals. Similarly, other researchers have found that when RRCs are more serious or appear to be unresolvable, the partners involved are more likely to withdraw from that conflict (Prager, Poucher, Shirvani, Parsons, & Allam, 2019). This can result in decreased relationship quality.…”