To Have and to Hold: on the Experience of Having an Other

Abstract

This paper reconsiders familiar concepts (such as internalization, object representation, and object constancy) in light of the notion of having, in order to facilitate creative thinking about how patients are or are not capable of experiencing analysts-and how analysts allow them to do so. The meaning of Other-having is examined from both a theoretical and a subjective point of view. The author suggests that the sense of having an Other results from positive real experiences, and that the ability to have an Other is the sine qua non, the building block, of all mental functions that require empathy.

On becoming a first-time mother after an emergency Caesarean section

“…We locate the narrative of mothers undergoing emergency C-section in the context of Levine's (2004) work, who links the experience of 'other having' (i.e. 'I have a child') to 'object constancy' (Piaget, 1954; i.e.…”

“…the sense that other people, as well as inanimate objects, continue to exist notwithstanding their physical absence). Levine (2004) examines the meaning of the experience of 'other having' and 'object having' that is the backdrop for statements such as 'I have a child', or 'My baby'. She argues that the primary feeling of 'object having' is linked to the achievement of object permanence, the sense that other people, as well as inanimate objects, continue to exist notwithstanding their physical absence.…”