“She chose us to be your parents”

Abstract

Guided by narrative theorizing, the current study investigated the content and process of telling adoption entrance narratives (AENs)-or the story of how the child was born, placed for adoption, and integrated into their family-in open adoptive families. Thematic analysis of 165 adoptive parents' (mostly mothers) AENs revealed six emergent themes: birth parents as family, chosen parents, forever, rescue, fate, and adoption makes us family. Structural equation modeling demonstrated that adoptive mothers' relational satisfaction with the birth parent relates to birth parent storytelling which in turn relates to adoptee-birth parent relational closeness. Findings illuminate the ways adoptive mothers incorporate birth parents into their conceptualization of family in light of cultural assumptions of ''family'' and become gatekeepers of family relationships.

The Evolving Nature and Process of Foster Family Communication: An Application and Adaptation of the Family Adoption Communication Model

“…Hays et al discovered, through the entrance narrative, that parents socialized their child to view and understand adoption in positive ways. In so doing, the content and process of telling the entrance narrative upheld one another and positively affected relationships among individuals in the adoption kinship network (Hays et al, 2015). Similarly, results from a study conducted by Kranstuber and Kellas (2011) on closed adoption entrance narratives revealed the significance of the themes of chosen child, negative reconnection, and difference on adult adoptee's self-concept.…”

“…Adoptive parents take the lead in establishing the extent to which adoptive and birth family members will interact after adoption (Neil, Beek, & Schofield, 2003). In fact, research has revealed that adoptive parents often serve as gatekeeper between the adopted child and birth parent(s) (Hays, Horstman, Colaner, & Nelson, 2015) such that adoptive parents often provide vital information and tell stories that may affect the adoptee-birth parent relationship (Colaner, Halliwell, & Guignon, 2014;Hays et al, 2015). Yet as adoptees transition to adulthood, their roles in the family may shift; adoptees may begin making independent decisions about contact and initiating conversations about adoption (Farr, Grant-Marsney, & Grotevant, 2014).…”

“…Namely, children in foster care may know as much or even more than their foster parents in terms of birth family dynamics (Nelson & Horstman, 2017). This is in contrast to adoptive families, wherein information about the birth family is often filtered through an adoptive parent (Hays et al, 2015). This creates an interesting dynamic in foster families such that the foster child may take a lead role in the information sharing and seeking processes; thus, communication may be more bidirectional (i.e., from child to parent and parent to child).…”

“…Regarding the outcomes associated with telling the adoption story, Hays et al (2015) examined the content and process of telling adoption entrance narratives (i.e., the story the adoptive parent tells to their adopted child about their entrance into the home) in open adoption kinship networks. Adoptive parents reported on one birth parent whom they had the closest relationship with as well as their oldest adopted child under the age of 18 (M = 4.18, SD = 3.75).…”

“…Nelson and Horstman (2017) also found that while birth parents were often integrated into FENs, they were often portrayed in a negative light. This framing is particular to the foster family context, for adoptive parents largely characterize birth parents positively in their entrance narratives (e.g., Harrigan, 2010;Hays et al, 2015). Moreover, research also indicated that foster parents seem to use entrance narratives to define and manage boundaries around family such that the prevalence of both the forever (i.e., child is a permanent part of the foster family) and temporary (i.e., child's place in the family is impermanent) themes in foster parents' FENs speaks to the tension of considering a foster child as "family" or "family-like" (Nelson & Horstman, 2017).…”