Reclaiming the Mother‐daughter Relationship after Sexual Abuse

Abstract

This paper seeks to provide direction to therapists working with mothers and daughters after a disclosure of father‐daughter sexual abuse. The importance of the mother's belief in and support for the child's recovery is highlighted, as are some of the cultural assumptions about mothers and daughters which negatively impact on the relationship. Despite paying lip service to offender responsibility, there continues to be a culture of mother blaming in the child sexual abuse and family therapy literature on incest. Current research findings challenge some of the prevalent myths about mothers’ responses to their children's disclosures. Few clinical sources have addressed this issue, and therapists who reject the mother blaming literature are therefore left with little guidance as to how to work more effectively with mothers and daughters. Consequently they may unwittingly further undermine the relationship. Work with mothers and daughters as they recover from intrafamilial sexual abuse is discussed, and key therapeutic themes and guidelines for practice presented. We explore the significant theme of the rebuilding of trust between mothers and daughters and facilitate a process whereby the woman is able to bear witness to and acknowledge the trauma experienced by her daughter.

Atendimento a mães de vítimas de abuso sexual e abusadores: considerações teóricas e práticas

“…Em intervenções em situação de crise, pode ser necessário ampliar as sessões oferecidas à criança e/ou a sua família, pelo menos no estágio inicial do processo terapêutico (Miller & Dwyer, 1997), tendo em vista as repercussões que a revelação do abuso pode acarretar em todo o sistema familiar. Com sessões mais frequentes e com o estabelecimento de uma relação de confiança entre todos, criança, famí-lia e terapeuta, as mudanças e os ajustes na rotina da família são trabalhados de forma mais contínua, fazendo com que aos poucos cada membro da família possa expressar e elaborar sua dor.…”

Omfanget av seksuelle krenkelser og overgrep i en norsk ungdomsbefolkning

“…Opplevelsen av hendelsen kan påvirkes av en rekke forhold som overgripers kjønn, naerhet til overgriper, grad av tvang og den utsattes og overgripers alder (Miller et al, 1997;Smith et al, 2000;Mannon og Leitschuh, 2002, s. 150). Spørsmålene i vår undersø-kelse som skal fange opp overgrepserfaringer ivaretar hver av disse dimensjonene, uavhengig av hverandre.…”

Voices in thread: Women's childhood experiences of a primary caregiver that remained in a relationship with an alleged or known sex offender, an arts-based inquiry.

“…The good mother myth demands that the mother will always know what is best and how to respond in a selfless and assured way. Good mother myths distort the realities of child sexual abuse and its impact on the mother-child relationship, thereby scapegoating the mother as a failure, as a bad mother (Miller & Dwyer, 1997).…”

“…Miller and Dwyer (1997) reported that there are not any competent studies that have determined that mothers usually knew of the abuse prior to disclosure or that they were collusive. Contradictory to previous perceptions, it has been found that when mothers did learn of the sexual abuse, they tended to notify someone outside the family (Risely-Curtiss & Heffeman, 2003).…”

“…It has also been demonstrated that not believing, or fluctuating in belief, is not a function of maternal pathology, but a normal response to a profound crisis (Miller & Dwyer, 1997).…”