Queer Intimacies: A New Paradigm for the Study of Relationship Diversity

Abstract

Recognition of sexual and gender diversity in the 21st century challenges normative assumptions of intimacy that privilege heterosexual monogamy and the biological family unit, presume binary cisgender identities, essentialize binary sexual identities, and view sexual or romantic desire as necessary. We propose a queer paradigm to study relationship diversity grounded in seven axioms: intimacy may occur (1) within relationships featuring any combination of cisgender, transgender, or nonbinary identities; (2) with people of multiple gender identities across the life course; (3) in multiple relationships simultaneously with consent; (4) within relationships characterized by consensual asymmetry, power exchange, or role-play; (5) in the absence or limited experience of sexual or romantic desire; (6) in the context of a chosen rather than biological family; and (7) in other possible forms yet unknown. We review research on queer relational forms, including same-sex relationships; relationships in which one or more partners identify as transgender, gender nonbinary, bisexual, pansexual, sexually fluid, "mostly" straight, asexual, or aromantic; polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy; kink/fetish relationships; and chosen families. We argue that a queer paradigm shifts the dominant scientific conception of relationships away from the confines of normativity toward an embrace of diversity, fluidity, and possibility.

The Gender‐as‐Relational Approach for Theorizing About Romantic Relationships of Sexual and Gender Minority Mid‐ to Later‐Life Adults

“…According to a recent report, 1.7% of sexual minority adults identify as asexual, and individuals who identify as asexual are just as likely to report being in a romantic relationship as non‐asexual adults (Rothblum et al, ). Hammack, Frost, and Hughes (), in their argument for queering understandings of intimacy, called attention to the fact that intimacy can occur in the absence or limited experience of sexual or romantic desire, pushing scholars to look beyond conventional notions of romantic relationships and include a wider range of experiences. This queering intimacy frame acknowledges the many individuals who identify as asexual within relationships, recognizing that their relationships may not fit within traditional understandings yet still have important gender dynamics to unpack.…”

Partner Selection, Power Dynamics, and Mutual Care Giving in Long-Term Self-Defined BDSM Couples

“…Today some of the respondents would likely use the term. We revisit the question of the relevance of the data in the Discussion section, particularly within the context of their implications for Hammack et al's (2019) proposed framework.…”

“…Other BDSM community writers have also discussed working relationships (Bean, 1994;Brame et al, 1993;Califa, 1993;Campbell, 2000), with some offering practical advice about negotiations and protocols. Hammack et al (2019) offer a useful framework for understanding BDSM relationships:…”

Affirmation, compartmentalization, and isolation: narratives of identity sentiment among kinky people

“…This delegitimization is linked to a master narrative of sex that privileges particular forms over others (e.g. heterosexuality, monogamy; see Hammack et al, 2018;Rubin, 1984;Warner, 1999) and to which individuals are exposed through cultural discourse and artifacts throughout the course of development.…”