Gatekeeping is motivated by the general assumption of vulnerability of patients, coupled with an emphasis on the duty to protect patients. Research is easily perceived as a threat to patient well-being, and the benefits appear to be overlooked. The patients' perspective concerning study participation is needed to gain a full understanding and to address gatekeeping in palliative care research.

Background:Advance care planning is seen as an important strategy to improve end-of-life communication and the quality of life of patients and their relatives. However, the frequency of advance care planning conversations in practice remains low. In-depth understanding of patients’ experiences with advance care planning might provide clues to optimise its value to patients and improve implementation.Aim:To synthesise and describe the research findings on the experiences with advance care planning of patients with a life-threatening or life-limiting illness.Design:A systematic literature review, using an iterative search strategy. A thematic synthesis was conducted and was supported by NVivo 11.Data sources:The search was performed in MEDLINE, Embase, PsycINFO and CINAHL on 7 November 2016.Results:Of the 3555 articles found, 20 were included. We identified three themes in patients’ experiences with advance care planning. ‘Ambivalence’ refers to patients simultaneously experiencing benefits from advance care planning as well as unpleasant feelings. ‘Readiness’ for advance care planning is a necessary prerequisite for taking up its benefits but can also be promoted by the process of advance care planning itself. ‘Openness’ refers to patients’ need to feel comfortable in being open about their preferences for future care towards relevant others.Conclusion:Although participation in advance care planning can be accompanied by unpleasant feelings, many patients reported benefits of advance care planning as well. This suggests a need for advance care planning to be personalised in a form which is both feasible and relevant at moments suitable for the individual patient.

For parents the essence of the palliative process is not to accept death but to deal with the loss of their child. Although the need to avoid loss and gain control by means of preservation is fully understandable, the study indicated that parents who made the transition to letting go had an increased receptiveness of their child's real situation and needs.

Parenting and providing extensive care to a child with a life-limiting or life-threatening disease while being aware of the future loss of the child are among the most stressful parental experiences. Due to technical and medical improvements, children are living longer and are increasingly cared for at home. To align healthcare professionals’ support with the needs of parents, a clear understanding of prominent experiences and main coping strategies of parents caring for a child in need of palliative care is needed. An interpretative qualitative study using thematic analysis was performed. Single or repeated interviews were undertaken with 42 parents of 24 children with malignant or non-malignant diseases receiving palliative care. Prominent reported parental experiences were daily anxiety of child loss, confrontation with loss and related grief, ambiguity towards uncertainty, preservation of a meaningful relationship with their child, tension regarding end-of-life decisions and engagement with professionals. Four closely related coping strategies were identified: suppressing emotions by keeping the loss of their child at bay, seeking support, taking control to arrange optimal childcare and adapting to and accepting the ongoing change(s). Conclusion : Parents need healthcare professionals who understand and carefully handle their worries, losses, parent-child relationship and coping strategies. What is Known: • In paediatric palliative care, parents have a daunting task in fulfilling all caregiving tasks while striving for control of their child’s symptoms, a life worth living and a family balance. What is New: • Prominent experiences were: continuous management of anxiety of child loss, feelings of uncertainty, tension with end-of-life decision making and engagement with professionals. Parents experienced unique significance to their child, reinforcing a meaningful parent-child relationship. • Relevant coping strategies were: suppressing emotions, seeking support, taking control to arrange optimal care and adapting to the ongoing changes. • To provide tailored support, professionals need to understand parents’ perceptions, relationship with their child and coping strategies. Electronic supplementary material The online version of this article (10.1007/s00431-019-03393-w) contains supplementary material, which is available to authorized users.

The concept offers an essential insight into parenting the child with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia and has relevance for nursing practice and education. Understanding of the concept would improve the ability to understand, communicate and work pro-actively in partnership with parents.